Stupid Young Punk!

A couple of weeks ago, my pals and I had planned to meet at the still-oh-so-super-cool, Section 8, for a few cheekies before dinner. I walked straight in past the ginormous bouncers who completely ignored me and the fact that I looked about 12 years of age...or possibly I'm so tiny they probably thought I was a mouse.

Like all good alcoholics, I headed straight to the bar, looking forward to a nice, refreshing beer after a "hard" day of work. The friendly banter between me and the Cute Young Thing behind the bar went something along the lines of this:

Me: Hello, Cute Young Thing (alright, that's not true...I didn't say that at all, apart from the "Hello" bit)! May I have a Trumer, please?

CYT: Sure! You got ID?

Me: Uh...yep, sure...

I hand him my ID. As he reads my Date of Birth, his eyes almost pop out of his Cute Young Face. His mouth gapes so widely that if I had a soccer ball, I probably would've shoved it down his throat. He grins, slowly at first, before breaking out into fits of laughter.

CYT: Oh my god! I'm so sorry! You're just so, like, teeny-tiny!

The little 18-year-old shit can't stop laughing. Aghast, I glare at him. He stops. His face becomes grave and solemn.

CYT: Wow. I'm...so sorry. I'm really embarrassed now. I didn't mean to disrespect you...you know...you being so old and all. I really am so, so sorry.

Me: Son, you'll be as old as me one of these days...

CYT (laughing): That's true...in like, 20 years...

Me: Shut the hell up, kid. Just give me my goddamn beer, but careful, I might have to glass you with it...

CYT (handing me my beer): Sure thing, lady...just don't put your shoulder out when you try to glass me.

Me: Stupid young punk! No tip for you!

Dumb kids, where's the goddamn respect, yo? I muttered to myself as I shuffled away.

CYT: Have a nice night, grandma!

Uh...a post for posting's sake...

So I told my wonderfully funny friend about my blog and that he should write for it immediately...I gave him the address, etc, and said he should get onto it and be, like, all funny and shit. And then I realised that I hadn't posted anything. At all. For a month. And pretty much...ever...I also told him I'm a much better writer than him and, really, am way funnier. Which I'm not. Actually, he's kinda hilarious and it'd be great if he wrote for my blog under my name. Anyway, when I told him I'm a better writer, I then realised I should actually start posting shit...